DAILY HUMOR: Direct from the Mobtreal Newsroom!

Direct from the Mobtreal newsroom in rural Chicoutimi, here’s what’s almost making news this morning:

• A New Mexico man was arrested for having sex with a woman while driving drunk. Police say he’s the first man ever to be jailed because of supreme multitasking skills. 
• Country singer Jewel has turned to the Bible to perfect her diet. This includes nailing herself to a cross every night before bed and treating every supper like it’s her last.
• Chris Brown has insisted to Los Angeles authorities that recent hit-and-run allegations made against him are totally false. In fact, he claims that his relationship with Rihanna was more of a hit-and-stay.
• Finally, a man in Denmark was on thin ice at a recent Beyonce concert after he slapped the pop star’s behind during a performance. When police brought him in for fingerprinting, he asked if he could keep and frame a hard copy.

Please check back with us every Monday and Thursday for more Mobtreal newsroom updates! In the meantime, don’t forget to follow @afishcalledmatt on Twitter, along with the rest of the Mobtreal crew.